I consider that it must have been there all along, saving me

I have slept a good part of my life away. I have enjoyed sleeping, there have been times when I would only make it through the day with clear plans and scheduled time to be asleep. It would seem that nothing could harm you when you are sleeping, so quiet, and calm, no one requesting anything of you and freedom to dream. This is no way to live. To be alive is a blessing, to have a husband, beautiful children, and to be alive and present in the now is a gift right from God.
To check out…what does that mean really? Have I ever mentally taken off when things were out of control, or when I was defenseless against the inevitable, sure? I would have to ask, is there anyone who has not? I have been on the brink and have been blessed to have reasons / obligations / loved ones who God has placed in my way that were instrumental in pulling me back to the here and now.
The strength to hang on and move on lies within dormant until it is awakened by feeling(s) of the past. I am overwhelmed when I consider that it must have been there all along, saving me.